She's Still At It Roja and Our Lady of Mysterious Ailments

 I'm going to add some more stuff in addition to my Netgalley review. 

Something I enjoy in books is when they make a reader want to learn about things he/she read in the book. If it mentions something historical, scientific, literary, philosophical or fantastical and the reader can't wait to look up more information. I found both The Library of the Dead and Our Lady of Mysterious Ailments to be these kinds of book. Roja, the protagonist, is so curious about the world and her is contagious. I hope other readers find her knowledge intriguing, too.

Now for the rest:

I sure do enjoy the personality of Roja, the protagonist of Our Lady of Mysterious Ailments and of The Library of the Dead. She has this foul mouth but a tremendous intellect, way past your average 15-year-old or 65-year-old for that matter. She knows history, philosophy, science; she knows Occam's Razor for heaven's sake. I wish I knew half the stuff Roja knows. (I'm jealous of a fictional character. Sad.)

I admit I miss her ghost talking and playing the mbira to help understand the ghosts. Even though her magic is now beyond ghost talking, I liked the personalities of the various ghosts and the way they always said, "Booga Wooga!" (Disclaimer: As a child I used to play ghost--I was, um, that kind of child, and I always said, "Booga Wooga!" Who knew I could speak ghost when I was a mere tyke.) Maybe in future books we'll see more ghost talking.

Roja, her family, her friends, and her boss are likeable. The badies are nasty, foul, and super unlikeable. And, I got to learn some super cool Scottish phrases and terms. Now I'm going around saying "I dinnae know that."

Thanks to Netgalley and Tor for allowing me to read and review an eARC of Our Lady of Mysterious Ailments.

The Library of the Dead, or I wish I was as smart as this 14-year-old

 

I'm reading Our Lady of Mysterious Ailments, book 2 of Edinburgh Nights, so I thought it might be helpful to read the first book, The Library of the Dead.

I enjoyed the protagonist, Ropa, a lot. She's funny, smart, has a fox for a pet, and is weirdly well educated for a 14-year-old dropout. I wish more people were as well self-educated as Ropa. Yet, she isn't dry when talking about the audio books she listens to because she's clever and her "reading" helps her navigate the wild world she lives in.

The title is a little bit of a misnomer because most of the story takes place outside of the library. It's also more of a library for magic. Nobody dead is there except for the philosopher David Hume. He stays dead dead and doesn't get up and talk or haunt or buy anything in the snack bar.

There is some eyeball rolling and you know how I feel about eyeballs rolling all over the place. It's not bad in Library which is good because my eyeballroll-o-meter is out for repairs.

I'm enjoying Our Lady of Mysterious Ailments so everybody who liked Library has something to look forward to when it's published. (I read books before they're published because I'm psychic.)

Review of Sundial by Catriona Ward -- Twisted and Twisty

 Catriona Ward is the mistress of the twist. Once I thought I figured something out, it turned out that my reading path zigged when I thought it zagged. Few of the characters are who they seem to be, except for one who starts out awful and stays that way. Who to root for? Who to condemn? There's enough twists to keep the reader guessing through the book.

Be aware that there is physical and psychological (but not sexual) abuse of children, a spouse, and animals. It's almost overwhelming for me to read, but Ms. Ward is just so very good with words. An excellent writer.

Some day I suspect Ms. Ward will write a straight-forward book with no twists and her readers will wrack their brains out trying to find the red herrings. We'll be flooding the question section of Goodreads begging for help finding the twists.

Kind of like a 1960's B Horror Movie A Review of Mestiza Blood

  

Most of the stories in Mestiza Blood fall into the category of "Don't Go In That Room/House/Drainage Pipe/Hot Tub Unless You Are A Fool.  As it turns out, most of the characters choose to be fools. A big vulture/human thingy with dried blood all over it asks you to follow it down into the sewers so of course you go. What could go wrong? Something is eating both the wildlife and the humans at the isolated ranch house of a porno shoot--and the characters decide to stay an extra few days--and one decides to go hot-tubing all by himself, even though something is noshing them for the main course.  

Even though there are hopeful endings to most of the stories, they didn't feel realistic--as if horror is realistic. I'm willing to believe a teenage girl stabs a monster/flying/human-faced thingy to death, and then finds a chest full of gold, but I found it hard to believe that a random drug dealer and his fence are willing to help her turn the gold into cash and expect nothing in return. Who knew criminals could be so helpful? And the teen was able to carry her baby and the chest full of gold, no problem.  Do you know how heavy gold is? How about babies? Some of them are tubby.

It was a fun read, though. The key for me was to read it like it was the old-time horror, the kind B movies were made from. Most of it was so over the top that I couldn't help but laugh. This is not necessarily a bad thing if the reader is looking at the stories as if they are a 1960's double feature following "Hell's Angels A GoGo. The stories didn't scare me, but I had a good time with them.

Lots of gore, but please, no more drooling. A Review of Manhunt

 I'd like to add something before I copy my Netgalley review here. On Goodreads, more than 100 people have given Manhunt a one-star rating without having read the book. I know hundreds of people haven't read the book because it's not released until next year. Why are they giving poor reviews? Because the book's characters are mainly trans women and men. The world is full of all kinds of people. Being angry that people exist never got anybody anywhere. It's unfair to give a book, one that the author put years of work into, a poor review solely because there are LGBT characters.

As Oscar Wilde said, "There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are either well-written or badly written. That is all."

After getting that off my chest, here is my review:

Manhunt has never ending violence and sex. It would make a good action movie. For my tastes, I'd like a few calming interludes, maybe a witty sidekick, but for nonstop movement and the kind of gore one gets from man/monster/flesh-eating/walking-on-all-fours creatures, it's well written. Most of the characters besides the doctor, Indi, are heartless, even love-making was brutal and inhumane (lots of spitting at lovers) but eventually the main characters' humanity shows through. This may seem like wimping out, but until they show that they can care about someone else, it was difficult to like anybody but the doctor. The villains are suitably evil,

Lots goes on, from hunting diseased, vicious men to working in a spoiled and ruthless billionaire's bunker to a final showdown with the brutal Legion. Yes, Manhunt is grim, but most horror readers aren't looking for cuddles. Except for me--I like cuddly horror. In the book I dealt okay with the shooting, the arrows, the stabbings, the explosions, the flesh-eating, but every time someone spit or drooled I was all gag, gag, gag. I'm funny that way.

Hollywood should come calling for this one. It's action and adventure all the way. They can leave out the drooling, though.

Thanks to Netgalley and Nightfire for allowing me to read an eARC in return for an honest review.

Finalist again! Read my horror on Crystal Lake Publishing's Patreon page.

 My short horror story, A Matter of Death and Time, is a finalist in Crystal Lake Publishing's monthly flash fiction contest. They have this contest every month and you, too, can send a story of 1,000 words or less. Support indie publishing and join Crystal Lake's Patreon page for lots of perks and lots of fine writing, including (sometimes) mine. Or, sign up for their free newsletter and learn how you to can submit to Crystal Lake, a multiple Bram Stoker winner.

Harrow is Harrowing. Review of Harrow by Joy Williams

 Without a doubt, one of the strangest books I've ever read. Both hilarious and sad, with some of the most clever lines I've read in a long time. It's hilarious in that the situations are bizarre. For instance, a mom can't bring herself to tell her little boy that his father just murdered his grandfather, so she had the cake decorator paint the murder scene on the boy's birthday cake. The cake decorator does this by doing a rendition of the oil painting, Saturn Devouring His Children.

If that's not strange enough for you, there's plenty more where that came from.

The sadness comes in because humans have completely destroyed nature and most people either don't care or they see it as a victory over the earth. Harrow is full of peculiar people doing odd things, partly due to the destruction of the earth, but also because nobody seems to have a purpose anymore except for some dotty elderly eco-warriors who waited a little too long to do anything.

Go into this book with the understanding that it's not like most books. Read it knowing that things will be strange and there's no coming back from that. Read it with a sense of humor.

Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to read and review Harrow.

Noticed by Ellen Datlow!

 If you know horror, you probably know of Ellen Datlow, horror goddess, horror icon, editor of more than 100 horror anthologies. Although she didn't pick my story for Best Horror of the Year Volume 13, she did mention my name in the introduction, along with editor Mercedes Yardley and some fellow writers in  Arterial Bloom.  It is a true honor and a delight to be recognized by Ms. Datlow. Here's what she had to say about Arterial Bloom.

Arterial Bloom is out now and Best Horror of the Year will be released Nov. 16, 2021.

Like King Kong but with Honkin' Big Spiders instead of a Honkin' Big Furbaby

 Cult of the Spider Queen will never win awards as a literary novel, but it's a rollicking fun read. Think King Kong but with big spiders and no New York or Faye Wray. After a young reporter sneaks a mystery package out of the mail room, he heads to the Amazon to find a missing woman filmmaker and giant spiders. Yikes! You know how you go to horror movies and shout, "Don't go in that room!" Spider Queen makes you wonder why they went down that tributary, why they went on that warship that smelled bad, why they went into that shrine and on and on. But, it wouldn't be much of a horror story if all the characters thought things out. Don't go near that cave! Oh shoot, they did it anyway.

Lots of bodies wrapped up in webs, creepy kidnappers with horns, even a trip to the moon. And spiders! A tad too much smirking for my tastes, but what can I do. Books are a smirk-a-thon anymore.

Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to read and review an eArc of Cult of the Spider Queen.

Something shocking my students told me. A review of Vile Affections

Here's what my students told me that was shocking. Several of them said they skip long paragraphs, skip descriptions, and go straight to the dialogue. And these were creative writing students! We writers work long and hard to craft the descriptions and some readers skip over it. Talk about a horror story!

Last summer I watched a webinar where four fantasy authors talked about how they write fight scenes. One said she was a ballet dancer and choreographed her fight scenes. Another said she watched Youtube fight scenes and copied them. One said she never wrote fight scenes because her readers said they skipped them. What! So she said she just wrote, "They fought," and was done with it.

I recently read Vile Affections, thanks to Netgalley. It has pages and pages with no white space. The language was artistic and the stories were about (duh) vile and dangerous relationships, but I fear some readers would skip the flood of descriptions. You're not that kind of reader though, right. Right? If so, the review of Vile Affections follows.  Lots of vampires in it.  Nice cover, too. The book, not the review.

 Vile Affections has some of the most beautiful language I've read in a long time. Whether objects or scenery is vile or lovely, the descriptions are detailed and vivid.

When I first opened the book and saw that there were pages and pages of prose with no break, no white space, I thought reading it might be a slog. I was wrong though.  The stories, even with the large amount of description, were interesting and reasonably quick to read. 

Many of the stories had the same type of subject: dreams, a person telling a story to another, the fear of drowning, water, water, and more water in most, but they didn't seem to repeat themselves.

If you're a reader who skips long paragraphs this might not be for you. If you love gorgeous language you'll find much to enjoy in Vile Affections.

Do You Believe in Magic? Can David Copperfield Fly? (yes) Can I? (probably not) David Copperfield's History of Magic

 It would be great fun to be a magician, except they sometimes get killed during the show. Other jobs are lethal and not near as much fun as magic. If you want to conjure up some rabbits out of your hat, or a burning cigarette out of your mouth (ouch) David Copperfield's History of Magic lets you stand on the shoulders of giants, figuratively. It's hard to stand on the shoulders of dead magicians, unless your form of magic is necromancy. 

Written in an easy-to-follow, friendly way, David Copperfield's History of Magic feels like Copperfield is walking you through his museum while he tells stories about the history of magic.

Interesting info on the magician innovators and stars throughout the decades, including the engineering and technology they created to work their magic. Lots of colorful photos of old costumes, posters, books on magic, and magician's props including a guillotine, circular saw, and Houdini's death-defying water box. Copperfield includes two famous female magicians--always glad when historians remember the ladies.

Copperfield doesn't give any secrets away, but he does tell about the classic books that the magicians wrote to teach magic and slight-of-hand tricks. If a reader really really wanted to learn magic and card tricks, Copperfield sends them in the right direction. The book includes extensive notes on research.

Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to read and review an eARC of this nonfiction book.

The Story of My Writing Life

 

Review: Something More Than Night Movies! Monsters! Noir! More!

  

I enjoyed so many things about this book. I'm a big fan of old movies, very old movies, so I enjoyed the references to the actors, directors, producers, and films of the 1930's. Of course, the plot is ludicrous but the humor and the history make it all fun. Well, yeah, there's violence and gore. That's the point of most horror. If the writer makes it clever, that's extra points in my book.


If the reader is not  a  buff of black and white movies,  he or  she might not  be  familiar with  lots of the characters.  pursue some oldies this Halloween,  Frankenstein, Dracula, The Mummy  (Karloff's Mummy) and scare yourself back  to the Thirties.  Okay, they're not that scary, but you'll  know what's going on in the book. It will be good for you, as your mother (or mummy) might say.


The afterword is interesting, too. It gives some history of the writer, Raymond Chandler, the actor Boris Karloff,  and  old Hollywood.  Monsters, movies, and lots of electricity zapped through people. What more could you ask for?

Fill up your spare, empty aquarium that sits there doing nothing. The drought is coming! Revue of Dry

 I read a lot of horror and most of them don't disturb me. Dry gave me nightmares. The weird thing was that the nightmares weren't about lack of water or fires, but about traffic jams. Shows you what gives me the willies.

Monsters don't scare me. Things that can really happen, and the crazy things people do when disaster happens, are what frighten me. Though Dry was published three years ago, we've seen way too much of this recently. The panicked buying leaving store shelves bare. The horrible wild fires in California. The empty lakes and rivers. Fortunately, the plucky teens and a few compassionate older folks balance out the adults who act like jerks or become downright criminal.

Dry is a scary story but not a depressing book. Well, maybe a little depressing. It certainly is exciting and full of action. Now excuse me while I go fill up my entire pickup truck with bottled water.

Even Though I'm Willing to Overlook This, Stop With the Smirking and Eyerolling Already. The Toll

 

A rollicking and satisfying conclusion to the Scythe trilogy with enough wiggle-room if Mr. Shusterman should ever decide to write a fourth. Read the first two so you know who all the characters are and what they're up to.

Okay, there is smirking and eyeball rolling but I'm willing to occasionally overlook that if the other writing is exceptional. Occasionally. That's not an excuse to smirk and roll eyeballs willy-nilly.

Not Your Average Fluffy Puppy Dog A Review of Such a Pretty Smile

Being sexually assaulted followed by being devoured by dog/things seems like a trifle much for not being a "good girl." In this day and age, all kinds of behavior is more accepted. 

 Having grown up during the rise of feminism, my first thought about a book where adolescent girls who refuse to conform to "good girl" ideals meet horrific endings was that it should be a story set in the past, not one set in 2004 and 2019. Then, I started thinking of all the little digs I've gotten in my life, tearing down my plans and dreams and goals. Girls and women are still expected to act the way the masses demand.

I mean, look at all the body shaming that goes on on the internet. Look at all the makeup tutorials so we can all look alike.

And, talk about jobs and education. It seems like I've always had guys telling me I ought to do this, or that, or take some other career path. Why not grow some canine teeth and bite me while you're at it?

Even if it's not a grisly death, it's a death of the spirit when people constantly tear down others and try to rebuild them into something more to their liking.

In Such a Pretty Smile, a husband can't support his wife's art because her art is better and more imaginative than his. A mother home schools her daughter because was kicked out of school for defending herself when a boy touches her inappropriately. More insidious than the boys and men, there is something feral and canine killing girls who don't conform. The moral to the story is if you don't want to conform, fight back.

Why do I write horror? Besides the meager pay? Just to see the look on people's faces when they discover I'm not the sweet little creampuff they think I am. Actually, I am a sweet creampuff...I just happen to write horror.

Thanks to Netgalley and Saint Martin's Press for making Such a Pretty Smile available to me in return for an honest review.

Death Head Hawk Moth

 

Me in This Year's Halloween Costume

Brush your teeth! Review of Nothing But Blackened Teeth

 

The Cover was Almost Too Creepy for Me, Then I Remembered That I Enjoy Reading Horror Before Bed and Then Having Nightmares.

 

Have you ever disliked the humans in a story so much that you're rooting for the ghosts? Five people go to a haunted mansion in Japan for a wedding. None of them like each other, or barely like each other, yet they're the only five people (including the bride and groom) invited to the wedding. I can see if 300 people are invited to a wedding that a few might be horrid guests, but there are only 3 invitees and the bride despises everybody but the groom. And then a ghost of a bride buried alive and a bunch of little animal/monster thingies invite themselves. Still, the humans bickered, fought with each other, and got drunk. Meanwhile, the bride/ghost and the spooky critters moved ever closer.

If there were not ghosts and animal/monster thingies, this would be a typical story. A pity-party of "You weren't there when I needed you" stuff. Thank goodness for the little beasties and the ghost because they were the most fascinating characters in the book. The broken dolls were cool, too.

In fact, I'm thinking of inviting them to my wedding. The ghost, the critters, and the broken dolls. Dancing at the reception ought to be interesting.

Thank you to Tor and Netgalley for allowing me to read and review Nothing But Blackened Teeth.

Forget the Priest. Make Felix and the Cat the Main Characters Review of Fathless.

 Even if I'm not enjoying a book at the beginning, I always read on because books often get better part way in. This is how it was reading Faithless. Father Raul's drinking and drug taking seems to go on and on. I understand why he does it, it just seems to go on and on. When his friend, Felix, shows up, the story really begins to hop. Until Felix showed up, it was drinking, pill-popping, and hearing voices page after page. Felix makes the action happen. Bruiser, the cat, was a good addition, too.

There's movement once Felix arrives. He zooms his Harley to dive bars, seedy motels, fights, trades barbs with racist bikers and bartenders, visits the victim's neighbors and relatives, gets help, finds out the truth about the victim. Meanwhile, Raul drinks, hears things, and occasionally remembers to feed the cat. The middle of the story was exciting because there's action.  A lot of times novels have a mushy middle, but this middle was great.   The sidekick outshines the protagonist.

Then, we get to the climax. It should have been exciting because there was  gruesome violence, torture, shootings, stabbings, fires. But here's the thing--it went on and on and on just like the drinking and pill-popping did. Page after page of every kind of gory ick until I got tired of reading it. It seems like there should be a quick and exciting climax and get it over with, instead of brutalizing the protagonist page after page. The end of the ending was a deus ex machina and that's often disappointing. 

Middle of the book-great. Beginning and ending went on too long.  Here's a book I'd read: Felix and a cat (he only tolerates cats) drive around the country on his Harley hunting demons! That would be a fun read and an exciting book. Go Felix! Go cat!

Thanks to Flame Tree Publishing and Netgalley for this chance to review an eArc of Fathless.

My eyeballs hurt from all the rolling. Review of The Cursed Carnival and Other Calamities

 I wanted to read The Cursed Carnival and Other Calamities when I saw that Rebecca Roanhorse was one of the short story writers. I've read all of her books and enjoyed them.

Since I'm not between 8 and 12 years old, I might not be the best for reviewing this collection of hero stories. Maybe if I put a month between reading each selection I would have enjoyed them more. The problem with reading them one after another was that they sounded too much alike.

Different kids with different abilities, sometimes from different places in the universe, yet they all seemed just the same. Each hero managed dialogue that was witty even when they were about to be eaten, killed, squashed, whatever. Friends and enemies were snarky toward each other. There was usually a clueless adult. And, don't get me started on eyeball rolling. I think characters rolled their eyes in every story. I know tweens roll their eyes, but everybody, all the time, in every story? I'm going to have to buy a second eyeball-roll-o-meter to keep up with all the optical athletics. 

I did like Ms. Roanhorse's story even if the character's eyeballs were unhinged. The good news was that her protagonist realized her snarkiness might keep her from being a good friend and changed her ways, if not her eyeball theatrics.

I might not be crazy about this anthology, but 6th graders would probably love it.  Me, I just rolled my eyes at the stories.

Thanks to Netgalley for an advance readers digital copy in return for an honest review.

Math, Money, Monsters, and Magicians A review of The Peculiarities.

 Where have the books by David Liss been all my life?

I like books that are different, odd, and peculiar and The Peculiarities certainly is. You want creepy, murderous monsters? Liss gives us The Elegants. We have some kindly werewolves, people who turn into trees, mathematical solutions, and the infamous Aleister Crowley, a real person (though odd) borrowed from history. Holding the story together is the protagonist, Thomas, who responds to the bizarre goings-on as a proper Victorian gentleman. When asked by a man married to a werewolf what he thinks of that, Thomas replies, "I celebrate your domestic happiness." He always has the right, though often baffled, reply.

Thomas grows as a character. At the beginning, when his brother demands he marry a certain woman, Thomas can't imagine marrying a Jewish woman. As the novel goes on, Thomas realizes how narrow his rich white man Victorian view has been. A new world, and worlds, open to him.

The Peculiarities is strange and humorous, gory and startling, and thought-provoking while being lots of fun to read. 

Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me the opportunity to read an eARC in return for an honest review.

Whoopee! Netgalley Says I'm a Top Reviewer!

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A Ghost Dog! Here boy! A Review of Under the Whispering Door.

 I had to go out and buy an almost new spittle-o-meter due to this book, but I'll explain that later.

I found Under the Whispering Door quite charming. It's also profound in it's way, if you look deeper at what's really happening to the characters. And the dog, Apollo! Why can't my dog stay with me as a ghost? I would snuzzle him and woofle him and love him. This novel gives us hope in many ways. Hope for people. Hope for the afterlife. Hope that our dogs hang around us after they're dead. I went into my back yard awhile ago just in case Yahtey was still out there.

The characters are just smart-ass enough that their goodness doesn't get irritating. They are good but not goody-two-shoes. I have to admit there was something attractive about Wallace, the protagonist, when he was a jerk. I guess it was because he was so good at it. And the Manager! His assholery was a highlight. Mei, is too perfect in what she does, but she endeared herself to me because she knew just the right insults to make her goodness even out.

Back to the spittle-o-meter. As you know, if you follow my reviews, it irritates me that modern books are full of smirking, eyeball rolling, and lip-biting. I'm happy to say that I didn't have to use my smirk-o-meter at all on Whispering Door. It's out for repairs, anyway, as so many novels cause it to top out. My eyeball-roll=o-meter got about halfway across it's arch. But, every character in the book had to gnaw on their lips. Changing bite to gnaw does not make it original. My lip-bite-o-meter had to be oiled after this. And, and, I've noticed that more and more spittle-on-lips is showing up in books. Almost everyone in Whispering Door had spittle on their lips including the ghost dog. My new spittle-o-meter smoked...smoked!

Authors are so original with their stories, yet they copy each other with such silly things as lip biting (or gnawing), eyeball rolling, smirking, and now spittle...of all things. I'm begging all writers, begging them on my arthritic knees, to please think twice before smirking, spiitling, eyeball rolling and chewing on lips. Too many say the same thing. Think of new words. Make them up if you have to. Shakespeare made up words and everybody wants him over for dinner, right?

I'm going out again to see if my ghost dog is here. Here, boy! Good Dog!

Thriller, Mystery, Ghosts! Review of The Summoning

 The Summoning was different than I thought it would be, which is a good thing. The description made it look as though the protagonist, Kit, mainly targeted the relatives of people killed on 9/11. I thought it was too early (even though it's been 20 years) and too raw for a book to have a protagonist who is scamming 9/11 relatives of the dead. That was only a small part. The majority of her targets (or clients, as she thought of them) were indeed mostly moms of dead children. Kit thought she was helping them because she made them feel better even though she actually didn't contact the dead.

Until the day she started having visions of their murders or hearing their voices in the night.

Kit scans the memorial section of the New York Times looking for "clients" but most are not from 9/11. If you are triggered, there are a lot of mentions of 9/11 because Kit's husband died in the North Tower.

The are surprising twists, especially the climax. I could see the bad ending coming for the lousy detective boyfriend but never anticipated the way it came about. I never anticipated what would happen to the protagonist. Some good zigzags on the part of the author. 

I enjoyed The Summoning more than I thought I would. It's more of a mystery story than supernatural or horror, although there are ghosts.  Thanks to Netgalley and Poisoned Penned press for allowing me the read and review The Summoning.

Sometimes the future isn't horrible. A review of A Psalm for the Wild Built

 This is one of the most charming, relaxing, and hopeful book I've read in a long time. But it's not treacly, it's modern and witty. Most of the fiction I read about the future is depressing. The worst happens and people accept it and live terrible lives. A Psalm for the Wild Built shows a future where humans finally figured things out, changed the way they lived, and stopped climate change in the nick of time. Being human, Dex the protagonist, can't figure out why he's unsatisfied when everything seems perfect.

I liked the pace of this novel. A lot of writing teachers tell us to make things worse for the protagonist, always make things worse. A Psalm for the Wild Built shows that a novel can be interesting without having to endanger the main character.

A lovely book. Thanks to my library for allowing me to read it on Overdrive. Libraries are great.

A Book About Medieval Manuscripts...With Some Cool Horrifying Stuff, too.

 I was fascinated by Medieval literature once upon a time but left it behind when I realized I'd never have my own personal wizard. The new movie, The Green Knight, got me fascinated all over with stories of saints doing weird things and other oddities of life. The Gilded Page, by Mary Wellesley, came along at the right time. Most Medieval manuscripts have been lost or destroyed through the ages, but the ones that survive have fascinating histories. We picture monks scribing away at illuminated books, but there were nuns, secular people writing commercially, and more women scribes (called a scriptrix) than our modern minds can imagine.

Talk about horror stories! That's what I mainly write about, but there were plenty of horrifying things going on in the Middle Ages. A few hundred men and women (mostly women) had themselves walled up in 12 square foot cells on the north side of churches, where they slept in their own graves and had a window looking out on the graveyard. They spent their lives there and at least one women lived to be seventy-three. They're in this book because they got a lot of writing done...as you can imagine. 

 I can get a good horror story out of walling up a recluse. I get crawlies thinking about it. I never would have thought about being walled up and having to sleep in a grave until I read this book.

I realize that putting color photography in books is expensive, but illustrations of Ms. Wellesley's wonderful descriptions would be nice. This would make a wonderful coffee table book, but would probably cost a fortune. I'm interested enough that I'm going to google-up these manuscripts so I can see the beautiful artwork. Isn't that what a good book does, make you want to learn more?

This is a dandy book for anybody interested in the history of books and/or Medieval history.  Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to read and review The Gilded Page.

Have you ever felt your lover's pet licking your toes in the night?

 

Before there was Dracula, there was Carmilla. How to live comfortably even if you're really lazy.

 Le Fanu missed a golden (or should I say "blood red") opportunity. He could have written at least four more Carmilla books if he'd only left her head on. I'd read Lilarcam, or Racallim, or Cimallar, or Aracmill. You see, Carmilla kept getting away with her dastardly deeds by appearing under new names at each castle, all anagrams of Mircalla. She was Carmilla and Millarca (which sounds like malarkey) so why not Cimallar? If Le Fanu won't come back from the dead to write sequels, I guess I will. Write sequels, not come back from the dead, although I won't eliminate that as an option.

Carmilla actually was kind of a relaxing read. Carmilla, herself, was the epitome of of lazy, though she's called "languid" because that's a more high-brow way of saying lazy. Nobody saw her doing anything but lying around and occasionally strolling at dawn. The story does leave an unanswered question. Who are those people who keep dumping Carmilla at different homes and never come back for her? "Here, keep my daughter whom you've never met and keep her for a few months. I'll be back for her. Heh, heh, heh.

If you want a quick read that is also a historic read (as the stepping stone to Stoker's Dracula) take a look at Carmilla, the Deluxe edition. I'm reading it a second time so I can learn how to live with rich people while they feed me (feed me, Yikes!) and I basically lay around all day and get waited on. If a 150-year-old woman can do that, I should be able to also. Meanwhile, I'll be writing the sequel to Carmilla...Aracmill.

Thanks to Netgalley and Pushkin Press for letting me read the upcoming Deluxe edition of Carmilla. I'd thank Le Fanu but he's dead...unless he keeps coming back like Carmilla.

I Was Ready for the Monster to Eat Them. A Review of Freaks.

 Good news and bad news. I think this is a good story about bullied kids getting superpowers. The bad news is that I didn't like any main character in the book. After awhile, I rooted for the monster to devour every one of them.

There is no law that says the main characters have to be likable. But, they do have to be interesting. The bullied kids were physically and emotionally abused, but they were insulting and belittling to each other, too. They were bored by their teachers, bored by their parents, bored by pretty much everything, and their answer to anything was, "Whatever." Haven't they ever heard the phrase, "A bored person is a boring person?" The most annoying kid was even mad that his poverty-stricken, overworked mother bought him a desktop rather than a laptop computer.  Maybe 15-year-olds are bored and mad at everything, but I don't want to read about it.

Honestly, I wanted to start bullying these kids because they weren't even nice to each other. And, the bully friends weren't nice to each other either. And, the Feds weren't nice to each other. Nobody was nice to each other. Just let the monster eat them all.

It's an exciting story, but I couldn't drum up any sympathy for 98% of the characters. Whether bad guys or good guys, they complained, they insulted, they were bored. They set fire to whole bunches of trees! Yikes! Their grammar was horrid, even the one who was college bound. Two more books are coming in the series. I hope the superpowered kids get a little humanity. 

Great cover. 

Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for allowing me to review this eARC