Candy-colored Stephen King Novels! Eat them up 'cause they look like big lollipops!

 UK Publisher Hodder & Stoughton Re-Releasing Classic Stephen King Novels With Colorful New Covers - Bloody Disgusting (bloody-disgusting.com)

I would buy these for the covers--if I had any money.

Don't Come Any Closer! A Review of Come Closer.

 

I dipped into the vault of moldy-oldie horror for this 2006 trembler.

I read this in one day. That's a pretty good sign that it's holding my interest. You have to feel sorry for the protagonist. She couldn't figure out what was going on, her mental state deteriorating, mysterious blood spatters appearing on her clothes. And picking up crawly dudes in bars. She gets worse from there on!

Ok, this went over the middle-mark on my eyeball-o-meter. Lots of eyeball rolling. I think almost every character (except the German Shepard) managed to roll their eyes. I'll give it a pass this time. The book skimmed along quickly and fun--fun in that horror kind of way.

Ghost Dogs! A Review of Elatsoe.

 

Elatsoe has a little bit of everything. Good animal ghosts. A mean human ghost. Vampires. Monsters. Generations of women who can summon ghosts (but you do not want to summon human ghosts because they are mean.) Understanding parents--a rarity in YA literature. An evil doctor. It's got everything!

Elatsoe is a charming book, even if it's concerned with a lot of supernatural things. Loving family. Loving friends. A loving dog ghost and a loving vampire. Even a ghost trilobite but I don't know if it was loving or not. It's hard to tell what a trilobite is thinking.

I teared up at the end. I won't tell you why because that would be a spoiler, but my dog died two years ago and I still miss him every day and I wish I could conjure up his ghost just like Ellie does with her beloved dog. Everybody is biased toward their own dogs, but mine actually was the best dog in the world and this was confirmed by my mail carrier.

Interesting Apache lore and a unique story.

Jump Jump Jump Jump scares aplenty Review of The Lost Village.

 I reviewed this months ago, but it's finally for sale. Here it is again!

The Lost Village is a book I both did and didn't like. It would probably make a good movie as there were plenty of jump scares--strange figures seen in the night, strange sounds, people falling through floors. Isolated place with no phone signal. The final, virginal girl, or in this case, two.

Nine hundred people in an old mining village go missing. The great-granddaughter of one of the missing enlists a former friend who is a film-maker, the money man who is financing the expedition, the film-maker's boyfriend, and another relative of a survivor into coming with her to scout out the abandoned village for a documentary. The protagonist suffers from depression, was never successful like the other film school graduates, and thinks this documentary will be the key to her success.

All right so far. But, Alice, the protagonist, doesn't seem to know a lot for being a film school graduate.. Her goals for the five days were rather slipshod and she didn't know her rented camera took videos in addition to still photos. I began to realize why she was the least successful student in her film classes. I'm not a film student and I can tell if a camera takes videos or not.  Alice mostly accidently discovers stuff instead of having a plan. 

Of the five people in the group, two are on medication for mental problems and they both happen to be women. Why, in the books I read, is it always the women who are suffering? The two men seem happy as clams, although I don't know how happy clams really are.

So, the protagonist spent a bundle on rented vehicles and camera equipment but doesn't seem particularly prepared. Her former friend takes over and we're supposed to resent this as does Alice. But, geez, Alice didn't get her act together before the trip.

I like strong women in my books and Alice wasn't it. There were other strong women, especially Elsa who is in the background story, but the protagonist just let things happen to her. I also figured out who the culprit was and where the villagers disappeared to long before the characters did.

There were characters who I felt sorry for like Brigritta who had autism, characters to dislike like the over-the-top minister, but, except for Elsa in the backstory, the characters were mainly blah.

It would still make a good movie because people fall through floors on a regular basis. But, in a movie the rusty fire escape will have to break and somebody will have to swing on it, hanging on for dear life. I wonder if they need a script writer? I'm on a roll here.

Thanks to Netgalley and St. Martin's for the digital advance reader copy.

Tangled up in Gore A Review of My Heart is a Chainsaw

 

So, it's been 24 hours since I finished reading My Heart is a Chainsaw and I still don't know what to say. I'm still processing it. I'll say some piddly things to see if my mind starts to work.

A) If Jade was a real teenage girl and not fictional, she should grow up to be a writer. Her essays are a hoot.
B) Stephen Graham Jones grew up to be a writer so he could write for Jade. The world has a way of working things out.
C) You do not want to be an elk in a Jones novel. I think an elk must have frightened him as a child and he's never forgiven it. We've got another pile of elk in this book, but in a completely different piled up way.

Now that I've warmed up, here's the review.  To me, the best horror is psychological horror where we don't know if the bizarre happenings are happening or if the protagonist's mental state is questionable.  We know Jade had a terrible childhood, is still with the father who caused the terrible childhood, is disliked and ignored at school (after being out of class for six weeks, the other students didn't notice she was back,) and doesn't see a way out. She immerses herself in slasher films and slasher lore as an outlet.  But, she is incredibly intelligent which only her history teacher and the town's sheriff seem to notice.
Some reviewers have said they're confused. I think we're meant to question what's going on, to see what we want to see. Is there a supernatural killer, a killer at all, or has Jade slipped into her own fantastical slasher world? And the ending ending, the one that follows the gory grand finale, is not something we saw coming at all. Yet, the unusual ending makes perfect sense because it tells us what Jade wanted all along. 

The main thing I like about the two books I've read by Stephen Graham Jones is that they're literary novels that happen to be horror. They're not like the pulpy horror books where you kind of know what will happen before it happens. There's a lot to ponder in this novel. I'll probably be thinking about it for a long time.

A Little Bit of Gore, A Little Bit of Eyeballs. One Pigeon. Review of Howls from Hell

 First, I'll start with my favorites and why. The Pigeon Lied was ridiculous which is exactly the way I like horror that involves monsters. Nobody really believes demons in funny hats are after them, so they kind of have to be silly. Psychological horror is scary because you can't see or understand what's after you. A demon pigeon in a hat is hoot. That's fine with me.

Possess and Serve was original. My only problem with it was the way the female protagonist mocked the other female police officers. Women have to stick together! It's not like the male officers treated her so well. 

It Gets in Your Eyes was creepy. Red and the Beast was a different twist on Beauty and the Beast.

I have a little bit of a complaintm but it's a complaint I have with a lot of contemporary books. Everybody rolls their eyes to show emotion rather than describing or speaking about emotion. In one story another character comments on the protagonists constant eyerolling, so at least the author is aware. But, half of the stories have characters rolling their eyes.  I see this in so many current stories and books. I roll my eyes at so much eyerolling. That and smirking and hissing. I don't know if authors think they have to have eyerolling, smirking and hissing because everybody is doing it or if they don't realize everybody is packing books with the same facial expressions, but I wish editors or agents would suggest something more original than eyerolling to their authors.

Like most anthologies, there are some great and some flat, some scary and some not so much. There will be something for any horror reader in Howls from Hell.

Thank you to Netgalley for making this ebook available to me.

This book will keep you awake. The Last House on Needless Street.

 

You know how some horror doesn't really scare you because you know you're unlikely to encounter  a vampire, werewolf or zombie? This isn't that type of horror. It's something that could happen to you or someone you know. It's doubly scary and it's also literary, glorious words taking on a deep subject. I wanted to immediately call a security company and have my whole house wired up. Like I can afford that.

In the first chapter, Ted is speaking quite simply. I thought, "Oh, this will be tedious." But don't let that first chapter fool you. He, and the other characters, are multi-dimensional  and in more ways than you can imagine. 

Other readers kept mentioning a surprising twist, so I thought I'd be prepared. But no, it still caught me off guard. This is the kind of book you keep reading and reading because you're eager to find out what happens. Throughout the book there are three or four people you want to rip out of the story and stomp on. Beware, they are not necessarily the one you are looking for.

The child abuse is extremely difficult to read. If you feel you may be triggered, you probably want to stay away.

Since I can't afford security, I'll do like one of the characters and start sleeping with a claw hammer beside the bed. (My cat disapproves of this idea and says she'll protect me...by hiding under the covers with me)

Review: A Dowry of Blood

 

I wanted A Dowry of Blood to be so much more. I know it was supposed to be a letter to Constanta's vampire overlord and he (dead again) wouldn't have to know details, but the reader could use a few. Things were exquisite but no details of what made the dress or house or town exquisite. Sometimes it was hard to tell if it was 1400 or 1920 because of lack of detail. Or the details didn't fit the era. One male character had a waistcoat and lace-up pants in the 1920s. Were they still wearing 100-year-old clothes? Zippers were invented by then.

One time, I think it was supposed to be the 1500's, he told Constanta to stop being paranoid. It seemed to me that the word paranoid wouldn't have been in use 500 years ago. Did you ever see the word paranoid in Shakespeare's plays? No? There is a reason. 

Paranoia was first coined to mean a suspicion and distrust of people without justification in the year 1848. The word paranoid was not used until the year 1901.

Another time, also during the Renaissance (I think, sometimes the centuries bled together) Constanta said her vampire overlord (can't remember if he had a name) "repurposed" a barn into his study. Um, I'm pretty sure nobody used the word "repurposed" 500 years ago.

Maybe the vampires saw into the future and borrowed words from hundreds of years to come.

There was a lot of blood in A Dowry of Blood, but I didn't feel like there was a lot of heart in it.

Nice cover, though.

Another disappointing day

 

Ever have one of those days where nothing goes right?

Review: The Only Good Indians

 

This is one damn scary novel with the added attraction of being one finely written story. I'm not easily frightened by fiction. I read horror for the adventure but I don't believe a zombie or vampire is really after me. But this elk tracking people across the snow, across the northern plains, across the years...well, the suspense was breathtaking.

The writing also took my breath away. The descriptions made me feel the cold, the scraped hands, the sweat lodge, the houses and campers and cowboy bars. Just a great read all around.

I have to say that the punishment didn't fit the crime. A lot of innocent people and dogs lost. Isn't that the nature of horror, though, that none of us deserve this? 

I've read threads where people are distressed at the dogs' deaths. Just keep telling yourself It's fiction, it's fiction, it's fiction. There is a lot of death and gore in The Only Good Indian so bear that in mind before you pick it up. I'm super squeamish but I did okay.

Writing Horror When the World Seems Horrid

 

Free webinar: Writing Horror in a Post-COVID World. April 8

Horror Writers Assoc Retweeted

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The Death of Jane Lawrence was hard to swallow. (Don't read while eating.)

 

Don't you just hate it when you marry someone and find out a week later that he killed his last wife? It seems like Jane, for being a logical mathematical person, should have asked a few more questions before marriage. Why, for instance, her new husband had to return to his country estate every single night even though he had a perfectly good bedroom kitchen parlor study library in his office building. Umm, a few questions might have helped Jane keep her body parts and sanity. Keep in mind that this is an alternative view of history. Women had to fight to be allowed into medical school and were denied licenses even after graduation. The doctor having as many female physician friends as male medical friends would not have been a reality. But, speaking of reality, scientists practicing the dark arts probably wouldn't have been a reality either. I know this is horror and there has to be a suspension of disbelief on the reader's part, but I had trouble believing that in a week's time Jane, a rational accountant, would be completely turned into someone who would swallow chicken fetuses. To me, the story needed a slower buildup to the creepiness. That's part of suspense--the slow buildup. The gore is graphic so if you have an aversion to blood that smells rank and/or eating disgusting things, you might want to skip a few pages here and there. An all right book though I found some things hard to swallow (pun intended--there were a lot of gross things swallowed.) Fantastic cover art.

Do You Want Your Books to End Up in Hell?

 

Well, do you?

If you, like me, have a bunch of unfinished novels on your computer or turning brown and curling up at the edges in notebooks, now we know what happens to those unfinished manuscripts. The poor characters mope around inside the covers, hoping to be completed, sometimes escaping (and it never ends up pretty when they do) and basically going nuts, all because we trimmed our toenails or cleaned the litter box instead of writing The End at the end. 

This is a fun and exciting read, full of demons, kick-ass librarians, a nasty angel, and a big gigantic thing named Walter.

Now, go finish writing your novel. I will do the same. Write my novel, not yours. Your on your own with that.

Review: The Ghost Variations

 

First of all, Mr. Brockmeier's writing is gorgeous. What we have with The Ghost Variations are 100 very short stories (two to three pages each) that are both literary and about ghosts. It's nice to see two genres blend together--paranormal + literary.

They are mainly sad, though, yet beautiful. Many of the living seek fulfilment they'll never find. Often, the ghosts seek the same thinisg and never find what they're looking for. Why do we need stories of quiet desperation? The characters' longing makes me want to get up and do something with my life before it's too late. 

All of the stories are highly imaginative.  I feel like I'm a creative person, but while reading these 100 tales I so often thought, "How did he think of this?" For instance, in one story a man dies two ways at one time--he has a heart attack at the same time he's chomped by an alligator.  He becomes two half ghosts instead of one whole ghost, both with different ideas of what to do in the afterlife. Almost all have some sort of surprise.

By the way, even if the tales are sad and a little scary, the illustrations are darling. 

Thanks to Netgalley and Pantheon Books for a copy of this ebook in return for an honest review.

Review: A History of the Vampire in Popular Culture

 

I found some very interesting types of vampires here. Did you know there is one kind who sucks blood through her hair? No, the author of A History of the Vampire in Popular Culture couldn't explain how that works, either.

I wish the beginning of the book was more serious. The opening seemed too light-hearted and I thought the book would be frivolous. Soon, Ms. Fenn got down to serious business, but if I'd been a casual browser in a store I would have read the first couple of pages and thought to myself that it wasn't serious research.

Some of it did wander into territory that wasn't vampire-ish. There's a couple of murders that didn't seem to have anything to do with vampires. But, some of it was delightfully bizarre, such as the hordes of British children in the 1950s patrolling a cemetery at night, looking to kill a vampire. Parents blamed American comic books and tried to have them banned. Why hundreds of little children brandishing stakes and mallets hasn't been turned into a movie, I don't know. 

Yes, there is some really good stuff and some blah information, too. I'd probably buy it as a reference book since I write horror and I'm always looking for some new creature--like blood sucking hair.