Monsters Unleashed! Trapped, right now, inside of a book. Open at your own discretion! These things could get out!

A book with a little something for everyone. Kim Newman wrote a great introduction to classic monsters. Several stories where the classic monster was recast as female, such as the one where a body made from parts of others had the brain of a lovesick woman. I'm a sucker for funny horror so a story about an ancient great aunty living (sort of living, that is) in a family's basement was a hoot. It sounds like something that would happen to me if mummies scooted around cellars and ate legs of lamb. (My dad is in the cabinet above the washing machine, but that's another story.) And there were hybrid animal/people thingies that ate fascists. That's always a nice touch. If we could only end all wars with hybrid animal/people thingies. 

Every once in a while, there was a story that made me think, "And then what happens?" In one, I figured Mrs. Dracula would wake up the next day, wonder where all these skinny kids came from, and wander away again. She seems to have wandered away on more than one occasion. So, what happens when she forgets her kids again? I'd like to see her steal Mr. Dracula's credit card, go online, and buy a nice gown from Vampire's Wife.

Anyway, some fun stuff that you'll remember from your grandparent's childhoods. Watch the old movies, then let these modern versions scare you a second time. I have to go now because my dad needs something to eat, but thanks to Netgalley and Monstrous Books for allowing me to read and critique "Classic Monsters Unleashed."

For the love of God, don't let these classic monsters out!

Call for Horror Submission: Shakespear Unleashed. They'll Take Horror Sonnets, Too!

 Title - Author Name. Include a short bio in your email.

Shakespeare Unleashed Submission Guidelines

“O horror! Horror! Horror! Tongue nor heart cannot conceive nor name thee!”

Announcing our next anthology... SHAKESPEARE UNLEASHED.

Edited by James Aquilone. Publishing in 2023.

We have an amazing lineup of authors and poets lined up for the anthology — which will feature horror stories based on Shakespeare's plays and characters. We'll also have horror sonnets!

Like Classic Monsters Unleashed, we'll take submissions after our Kickstarter next year. The anthology will be about 75% from invited authors and 25% from the slush (though we ended up with 33% from uninvited authors for Classic Monsters Unleashed). We're still trying to nail down the launch date for the Shakespeare Unleashed Kickstarter, so we don't have an exact date when we'll open for subs, but we thought we'd reveal the guidelines so you can get a jumpstart on your story.

SHAKESPEARE UNLEASHED SHORT STORY GUIDELINES:

• Payment: 6 cents a word

• Length: 1500 to 6000 words

• Submission Period: July or August 2022

• Expected Publish Date: April 2023

• Kickstarter Launch: Spring 2022

No reprints, multiple subs or simultaneous subs

We're looking for dark and scary stories — no parodies or humor pieces. Stories can be set in time periods other than the Elizabethan era, and can be updated or reimagined or merely "based on."

SHAKESPEARE UNLEASHED SONNET GUIDELINES:

• Payment: $25 flat fee

• Length: 14-line Shakespearean sonnet

• Submission Period: July or August 2022 (tentative)

• No reprints, multiple subs or simultaneous subs

We're looking for horror sonnets — no parodies or humor pieces. Sonnets can be based on one of Shakespeare's sonnets or plays or characters (let us know which one when you submit) or they can be totally original, but they should still evoke Shakespeare in some way.

DO NOT SEND US STORIES OR SONNETS UNTIL WE OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS.

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Goblin Market. Not Rosetti's Goblin Market. This Goblin Market.

 This is a book that manages to be both charming and creepy. Just scary enough to interest a middle-schooler but not enough to keep anybody awake at night. Most importantly, it shows how the power of a loving family can help kids keep from making terrible mistakes.

It is loosely based on Christina Rosetti's poem, Goblin Market, but different enough that reading it will be a new experience even if you're read Rosetti's work.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and review an e-ARC of Goblin Market.

Pretty cover.

Hamlet sees the ghost of his father.

 

Thanks to Folger's Shakespeare Library for this frightening scene from Hamlet.

Everything that Can Happen Does. A Review of Black Tide.

 It's rare that I wish a book wouldn't end, but darn it, I like these characters and want to see them succeed! Okay, they're a couple of losers, but who doesn't have things in their background they'd rather forget about? When things get tough, the best or worst traits of people come out. Fortunately, the former losers are up to the challenges.

And boy oh boy are there challenges. Ugly bowling ball looking things that smell bad and grow killer vines have plopped all over the beaches. Invisible things with screechy voices and tongues with teeth and eyeballs eat people. If they don't get you, a big purple cloud will. That is if you don't drown or burn up, dehydrate or bleed to death. Or get tired of hiding in a Subaru all day. That would kill all but the hardiest.

And, there's a very good dog. These are characters who are easy to root for. Things get worse and worse. I audibly gasped at a few points and I'm not a person who gasps when reading horror. If KC Jones keeps up this good writing, I'll have to procure a gasp-o-meter to keep track of my reading anxiety. . 

The story has a hopeful ending even if the reader doesn't know the ultimate ending for the characters. An exciting book that I'm glad I read. Thanks to Netgalley and Tor-Nightfire for allowing me to read and review Black Tide.

The Price of a Lie is Very High. Review of The Liar of Red Valley

 

Walter Goodwater wrote a book about some really bad water and a lot of other bad things. In fact, the little town of Red Valley is so god-awful that the major thing I didn't believe is that anybody would stay in this crappy one-stoplight village. Then I remembered the price of houses in California and realized citizens were stuck in Red Valley because it costs ten-bizillion dollars to buy a house in San Fran.

Once I got over the fantasy that people actually wanted to live in a town where the river ate anyone unlucky enough to fall in, and where "King's Men" showed displeasure by biting a hand off (That seemed a harsh reaction to getting a parking ticket,) I really got into the book. Not literally, because then I would be eaten by a river.  Emotionally I got into the book because the characters were sympathetic (even the King's Men I kind of had sympathy for even if they bit) and the story was action-packed with plenty of villains and weird characters. For instance, hard-core drug users were sucking demons up their noses when other snort-type drugs were no longer enough. How awesome is that? They were called Laughing Boys until they turned into Crying Boys. Having a demon up your nose is not as cool as it sounds.

The people of Red Valley have huge problems, yet they go to The Liar to fix things like receding hairlines. Yeah, sometimes they go to forget the past, but the price of a lie is expensive. Binge watching RuPaul's Drag Race would cheer them up and be cheaper than a lie, but that wouldn't be much of a book, would it?

So, even though a lot of The Liar of Red Valley takes more suspension of disbelief than the average horror book, it's quite a bit of fun. As long as you don't wade in the river. Or upset a King's Man. Or snuff a demon up your nose.  Lots and lots of action. If it can happen, it does. Oh, the two Victorian brothers with the roving, time-traveling Victorian mansion were a real hoot. I hope Mr. Goodwater writes a sequel starring these two guys.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read and review The Liar of Red Valley. It's a rollicking and spooky ride.

Spine tinglers from Stinetinglers. A review of R.L. Stine's new collection of short stories.

 I never read R.L. Stine, so Stinetinglers is a first for me. And guess what? I super enjoyed it. Some of it was scarier than adult horror I've read. It's not terrifying because of gore or monsters, but the stories are scary because they're exaggerations of things that really frighten kids. Like being trapped in an old mansion and no rescue is coming. Or being lost. in this case lost in a weird time between night and day. Mean brothers. Mean cousins. And ghosts.

The story I related to the most was about a babysitter whose charges wanted to play "Bite, Bite." Not that any of the kids ever bit me, but that hopeless feeling an adolescent gets when she has absolutely no idea how to handle the "little monsters."

With Stine's good humor, these stories won't be too frightening for 8 to 12 years olds .It's frightening to me because it brings back memories of babysitting. Ugh. (I shivered just thinking about it.) Lots of fun and some spine tingling Stinetinglers.

Thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to read and review an eARC of Stinetinglers.