Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs--More 'Where Do We Get Ideas?'

Here it is, the Third Day of Christmas and nothing says holiday spirit like wondering if your cat will eat your eyeballs.

Caitlin Doughty tackles some weird and icky stuff, but she always does it in a charming and humorous way. My writing tip for the day is: There are ideas everywhere. Just twist your mind around some of the strangeness out there in the world.

What might you find interesting in this book that you could turn into a mystery, horror story, or romance? Okay, maybe not romance unless you want the love interest to be frozen and pulverized. 

Yes! That is NASA's plan for astronauts who die in space. Freeze them outside and then have a robotic arm smash them into space dust.

There are all kinds of things in Doughty's book that can creep its way into stories of the bizarre. Do you know what airlines do to passengers who die in the air? They get to sit next to you, still seat-belted in, until the plane lands. If the cadaver has an aisle seat, you might have a real problem getting to the bathroom.

You can rest assured that your pet probably won't eat your eyeballs, not when there are softer parts available.

The best writers are the best readers. Read a lot because books are loaded with ideas that you can bend to your own ends.

Things That Irritate Me in Writing--Magic for Liars

I said I'd offer writing tips. Here's my pet peeve when it comes to other people's writing. Lately, every other book I've read has characters biting their lips to show fear, anxiety, anger, happiness, arousal, and every other emotion you can think of. At some point, in every book, a character will bite their lip until it bleeds. In every damn book, the same thing happens!

This is nothing but lazy writing. A writer sees it in half of the books, so the lazy writer thinks, "Hey, I'll show every emotion the same way. Plus, the obligatory biting the lip until it bleeds."

Besides being a lazy way to show emotion, it's also unrealistic. Very few people want to hurt themselves. Few people show the thought process by biting themselves until they bleed. How often do you see people in real life biting their lips? Let me say it again--it's a lazy way to write.

That is why I disliked Magic for Liars. It's one of the reasons I disliked it. Every character in the book, female, male, adult, teenager, managed to bite their own lips instead of showing emotion. Every one of them!

It's used so often, in this book and others, that it's become dull. Why bother to write a book if you don't plan on using your imagination?

My other dislike of this book (among others) was that 99% of the characters have magical abilities, some have a lot of power, and they use it to make their eyes prettier, their hair shiny, and to harass other high school kids. All the problems in the world and these students and teachers use their magic to stack papers and make their hair glossy. Geez, people.

Oh, and the protagonist stays drunk or hungover for the entire book. I know people can have a problem with alcohol and still manage to work. There are novels where the protagonists overcome their problems. But, Liars' detective whines about being drunk and miserable and stays drunk and miserable. Just like biting lips, her constant misery got dull.

My writing tip is this. If you are going to write, don't copy what you see in other novels. Just because everybody bites their lips, smirks, and rolls their eyes in 50% of the books doesn't mean your characters have to do the same thing. For the love of all things worth reading, be original.

Batty about Books

Books and bats--a horrifically good combination. Artwork by Emily Bievins.

Have yourself a terrifying Christmas

Actually, these are Christmas customs from many countries guaranteed to traumatize parents and children alike. If you don't find some horror to write about in this article, then there is no hope of finding horror. One of these Christmas baddies guts bad children and stuffs them with straw. And we thought giving kids coal was harsh.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/dec/18/the-seven-most-terrifying-christmas-traditions-around-the-world

Crystal Lake Author Spotlight Interview With Me!

Okay, so I'm a complete klutz when it comes to computers. I like to blame my problems on gremlins, but that can get a person only so far. I've pushed ctrl+c all morning and I still can't get my interview to show up. Gremlins again!

Anyway, Joe Mynhardt, the many-times winner of the Bram Stoker award for horror and the founder of Crystal Lake Publishing, interviewed me for their December 2019 Crystal Lake newsletter. Find out all the low-down on me by subscribing to their free newsletter at:

crystallakepub.com

Meanwhile, I'll fight the gremlins to see if I can get my interview from one place to another.

Did you think to look here for an agent? Hmm?

Several writers I know are querying agents right now, going to agency websites to see who might be a good fit. A good place to find the kinds of books agents have taken on and sold is on the Publishers Weekly various newsletters.

For instance, if you're looking for an agent for YA or children's books, Publishers Weekly Children's Bookshelf newsletter always has a list of deals made that week. It will have a description of the book, the age group, the publisher who bought it, the author and the agent and agency that sold it.
So, you'll see that Susie Kittynose sold a book to Kittypaw Press and was represented by KitKat Jones of the BigHunkofKittyLove Agency.

There you have what you need to know. The agent and agency and what kind of book they just sold. Publishers Weekly shows the week's deals in all their newsletters, not just children's bookshelf.

The newsletters are all free. For inspiration, look here:
publishersweekly.com

        KitKat Jones of the BigHunkofKittyLove Literary Agency

Frighten Your Family. Write a Memoir.

Interested in writing a memoir? Here's a fine and sensitive article on memoir writing from The Guardian. If you're short on time, scroll down to the ten tips for a good memoir. If you have the time (and if you're writing a book, you have to have time, right?) read the whole thing. Memoirs are hot now, and this is a thoughtful look at how to write one.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/dec/14/the-naked-truth-how-to-write-a-memoir

Something Anne Lamott said, "If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."