I Did Like the Kid. Review of The Restoration.

 "Sometimes I will, then again I think I won't." The words to that classic rock 'n roll song come back to me as I think about how to review The Restoration. I was drawn to this book because I love old houses, too, just like the protagonist. Disclaimer: My husband is a professional (and gifted and award-winning I might add) preservationist. So I came to this story knowing what it takes to restore a home of this size and quality.

Here's why I both liked and didn't like the book. I'm not going to quibble about the restoration part because one person can't restore a house like that in a year and for less than a few million bucks and without a crew. For the sake of the story, we'll pretend Terri can. What I liked about the book is that it was a good mystery with lots of red herrings. The reader has to figure out who got murdered, who murdered who, if anybody else got murdered, and why the ghosts talk like they lived in the 1820's instead of the 1920's. The psychopathic kiddo ghost would have been saying "bee's knees" instead of talking like a stiff (even though he was a stiff.)  So far, so good.

But, I'm a mom. Terri, the mom in the book, was so annoying and immature.  For instance, during a Ouija board conversation with a violent, deranged ghost, Terri says she's bored, even though she's forever worrying that her kid will say she's bored. Even though the ghost has already smashed things, Terri has to goad him over and over...because she's bored. Predictable smashings result. Who would endanger her child like that? I know this would really shorten the book, but the first time a ghost tried to clobber my kid with antique books and toys, we'd be out of there!

All kinds of terrible things happen, the ghost molests and tries to kill a woman, he slashes Terri's face, he breaks things, although he occasionally cleans up after himself. Will miracles never cease? Still, Terri stays on with her daughter there...after the ghost molests and attacks another character. I'd have a child away from a predator ghost before he could say, "Boo!"

I know a reader doesn't have to like the protagonist, but I couldn't respect this protagonist.

I'm torn. A good mystery but I disliked the main character. She usually acted more like a child than her child did. Don't get me started on the eye-rolling and lip biting. With the mom being like a teenager, and with all the eye-rolling and lip biting, I thought I was reading YA. I'll give this a 3.5, but I would have liked it better if the adult acted more like an adult.

OMG! Fahrenheit 451 sold for $2.50 for hardback and 35 cents for paperback.

 

Flame Tree Press Lights Up Your Horror World A Review of Beyond the Veil

 I've read several horror anthologies lately. I'm impressed with the imagination and variety coming from the writers. Beyond the Veil, from Flame Tree Press, is another happy clump of ickiness...and I mean that in a good way. There's a few stories that seemed like the opening chapters to upcoming books, and that's perfectly all right. I think some authors hash out their novels through the writing of short stories. One, A Mystery for Julie Chu, seemed like a first chapter, had an intriguing subject about a young woman who sluices out mysterious and magical items at flea markets, and sees a future in buying and selling weirdness. I'd read that one if it gets turned into a novel. Who doesn't want to find something magical at a flea market?

There are creepy stories, and gory stories, icky stories and hopeful stories, lots of misunderstood little kids, and one story that is like a fairytale. A woman finally escapes a bad boss, bad co-workers, and a bad husband. Isn't that a real horror story--to be stuck in a rotten job and marriage?  I bet we've all dreamed of running away with fairies a time or two in our lives. I know I have, like every other day.

One that gave me a chuckle (I'm biased toward funny horror) was The Care and Feeding of Household Gods. If you ever get the urge to draw a face on your jug of laundry detergent, you might want to think twice. And for Heaven's sake, leave the kids' hamster alone.

A little bit of something for everyone here. Thanks to Netgalley and Flame Tree for allowing me to read an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Life's Hard on the Street When You're a Scythe. Review of Scythe.

 Really liked this book. Had some science fiction, had some horror, had some romance. Had a whole bunch of smirking. Almost every character in the book smirked at some point. I'm surprised the writer didn't add a bow. of goldfish just so all the fish could smirk.

My friends point out that this is YA and YA contains lots of smirking. That I'll wear out my smirk-o-meter if I keep reading YA because that is the nature of young adult literature--lots of smirking.

Here's the way I look at it. This book had an original concept, so why sound like all the other YA books when it comes to a smirk-a-thon? Other than the smirk festival, I liked the story.

Medieval Monks Knew Scary When They Saw It

 

Illuminated Medieval Manuscript: Cat Shooting Rat Gun.

Datlow did it again. A Review of When Things Get Dark. An Anthology of Horror Short Stories.

 I've read some fine horror short story anthologies lately and When Things Get Dark: Stories Inspired by Shirley Jackson is one of them. Anthologies are often all over the place, with both good and only okay stories, but every piece in Dark was entertaining.

We always have our favorites and I'm no exception. My second favorite was "Hag" by Benjamin Percy, although I didn't quite understand why the townspeople dressed up as seagulls. I mean, I can see myself dressing up as a seagull, in fact, I'd like to dress as a seagull, but the townspeople really didn't have to flit around as gulls in order to chunk visitors over a cliff.  (I don't chunk anyone over cliffs when I'm dressed as a seagull. I have other reasons.) I did enjoy the story.

My absolute favorite was Kelly Link's Skinder's Veil because I want to housesit that yellow home in Vermont. It was like a really cool dream with the most remarkable characters coming and going. A bear who tells stories! I always wanted a friendly bear whose ears I could tweak and it wouldn't eat me. Well, in Link's story I was able to live out my dreams. 

Ellen Datlow was the editor and she's known far and wide as a icon in the horror world. She picked some dandies for When Things Get Dark. They are all good and you don't have to dress up like a seagull to read them, unless you want to.

Thanks to Netgalley and Titan for allowing me to read an advance reader's copy in exchange for an honest review.

Life Sucks and then You Get a Tattoo Review of Trashlands.

 This is one of my favorite books to read in a long time, and I read a lot of books. The whole world has gone to hell and about the only jobs left are scavenging for used plastic or dancing in a dump of a joint called Trashlands. Everybody has gone through something traumatic in their lives and yet they still bond and care about whoever and whatever they can make into a family life. Scavenging for food, for garbage, for acceptance. Trying to protect children (who are kidnapped to work in factories sorting plastic) protect themselves, protect what little freedom and family life they have. Despite all the problems, the good people are people readers will care for and relate to, and the bad people are bad in all the bad ways and if you relate to them then that's icky.

The residents of Scrappalachia are so isolated that they don't know that cities still exist, that there are jobs in the world that aren't scavenging or dancing in dives. All strangers are to be distrusted until one day a kindly reporter arrives from a big city, looking for his sister who has gone missing. And you know what happens when an outsider arrives. Their world turns up-side-down. (Actually, there are a lot of outsiders, but most are men drunk of alcohol made from rot, there for nothing other than ogling dancers. 

Will the kidnapped child ever return? Will the characters get out of their grueling lives? Will the main character bite her lip until she tastes blood? (Yes, but only once so my bite-o-meter did not even wiggle.) This is one heck of an exciting ride, even if few of the cars of the world still run. 

Thanks to Netgalley and Harlequin (who knew Harlequin printed horror?) for allowing me to read this post-apocalyptic ARC ebook.

The bright stars of Dark Stars. A review of horror short stories.

 

The book is called Dark Stars and they mean it, because these are some of the brightest stars writing in the horror genre today. Although there can be some chilling gore, like a man running himself through a sewing machine and another who happened to be a cannibal. (Is cannibalism a thing? The last book I read had a cannibal. Or is it my taste in books?) And, there are upholsterers in two different stories who come to bad ends. Moral: Do not take up upholstery as a hobby or occupation. It doesn't end well. My favorite was Alma Katsu's story, The Vampire's Familiar, because I like a little humor in my horror. Although there is violence and gore in all the stories, after all it is horror, these stories longer than "kill them fast and weep" horror and more literary than most horror. But, this is a good thing because the genre doesn't get much respect but with people like Stephen Graham Jones writing literary horror, the academics are starting to notice. All are different, all have unexpected elements, one called Calwalla by Usman T. Malik is so atmospheric that I felt like I was smelling the incense and seeing the sites at a festival in Pakistan. Since the festival turns out to have a grisly end, the feelings that I was there were intense. I felt like a had to rinse the ashes off me when I was finished. If you want a quick slash and burn, these are not quickies, but if you enjoy a slow burn with beautiful writing between the blood, you'll like Dark Stars. Thanks to Netgalley and Tor, I was lucky enough to read an eARC for a review as only I can write them.